CATCHING A TRAIN TO BETTER DAYS.
“I hate you, Baba” were the last words I uttered to my father. Later that evening, I was told that Baba was crushed by an oncoming vehicle. I suspect that my words could have made Baba finally give up on living.
For many, losing a father meant losing a breadwinner but Baba was no winner and neither did he care for bread. Baba had gotten complacent with our situation and every time we asked him for something, he went deeper into his shell – the thick air of despair hanging heavy over our heads. Mother and I had long learnt that asking him for anything is tantamount to a painter’s deliberate addition of heavy grey clouds to a happy portrait.
Words like portraits, camera, reflector, and strobe light are words I often use when I’m away from home. Mother had long banned me from exploring my creative side as “nursing is the only feasible way to lift the family out of poverty”. Mother and Baba had vowed that as their only child, I must accomplish all their unfulfilled dreams.
It’s too much pressure to always be told that you’re the one to break the generational pattern. I am 25, unsatisfied and miserable. I know that if I don’t take my life into my hands, nothing will change.
Recently, I went with Simbi to the ‘Creations for Creatives’ program. I have gotten tired of working with agents who gaslight freelancers into thinking they have no value to offer and pay them peanuts. Madame Bello who I’ve been following on Instagram since her early days in France was the guest speaker and her speech resonated with me.
As soon as the program ended, I introduced myself to Madame Bello and surprisingly, she had noticed the young woman who consistently tagged her on Instagram. Madame Bello said “Amina, looking at your work, you’ll take the world by storm in a few years”. Those words encourage me to tell Mother that I’d be resigning from my job at the hospital. I’m skipping on my way to the asylum where mother has lived for about two years now. She might never remember this conversation but it’s something I’ll remember for the rest of my life.
